


Rocks Have Feelings Too

by walfpups



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Episode: s06e12 Like a Virgin, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-04
Updated: 2012-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-13 13:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/504053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walfpups/pseuds/walfpups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had been protecting this sword for so long. Perhaps too long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rocks Have Feelings Too

**Author's Note:**

> hahahahaHAHAHAHAHA im so sorry but onmg i was dfrunk this is not my fautl

Dean glared at the diabolical object in front of him.

And to Dean, it glared back. It was the stone of one thousand centuries. It had defeated many, and no one had yet to conquer this brave rock.

The rock of course stared at Dean in awe. For never had the rock been touched by such pure, unblemished beauty. If this rock hard stone could lick its lips, it would.

Dean stalked his way over to this fine masterpiece of earth. He sized up the rock, silently judging how hard it would be to pry the dragon slaying sword out of its broad backside. Dean bent over the rock, grabbed the end of the sword, and pulled with enough force to kill a million Wendigos. When the sword would not budge, Dean started thinking of other tactics to get the sword out of this monstrosity. He could use explosives, or perhaps a chainsaw. But something told him force wasn’t going to work this time.

Slowly, Dean kneeled beside the stone, questioning the sanity of his plan.

“Would you mind giving me some privacy please?”

Bobby’s old friend simply nodded and told him “That is a priceless artifact, be cautious with it please.” And with that, she walked out the door, shutting it behind her.

Dean sighed and started his ridiculous plan. He was certain it wouldn’t work, but he had to try. A dragon had to be slayed here.

So, Dean started. He lay one rough, callused hand against the smooth, cool stone. In his best effort not to laugh, or roll his eyes, he whispered seductively, “If you give me that sword, I can do absolutely anything you want.” He held his breath. “Anything.” he whispered again softly, feeling completely mad. He let out a small sigh and closed his eyes, and jerked them open again when the stone suddenly burned hot. Dean yanked his hand away, panting slightly.

“What the Hell..” he spoke to himself, and the air around him, and maybe the stone itself. 

The stone groaned inwardly when Dean pulled hard against the sword stuck inside. The rock expected him to keep pulling on it, kicking it, hitting it. Anything Dean wanted, he could do to the rock as he pleased. 

The rock never felt so helpless. But it had to keep the sword. It had protected the sword for many decades, many centuries. It resigned itself to just lay and wait until this beautiful spectacle of a man grew weary of his efforts to pry the sword from the stone. 

So when Dean stopped, and knelt down beside the rock, its non-existant breath hitched. The stone was confused, disgruntled, and actually a bit afraid.

***

Dean stared at the stone in front of him in awe. Had a rock, and damn ROCK just responded to his touch. Dean knew he had his way with the ladies, and sometimes the men. But this, well this: was a whole new level. 

Dean experimented by drawing his fingertips slowly across the smooth surface, flinching when it burned hot again. Dean tried his absolute hardest not to smirk, but in the end, how could he not? He bent down closer to the stone so that his breath was drifting along it every time he spoke. 

"Well, are you going to take me up on that offer?"

The stone trembled slightly with strange unknown delight. After centuries, nothing had ever had this effect on it. The rock flushed. It knew that embarrassment as a rock came off as direct heat, but he was not prepared for Dean pulling away from its warmth. The stone let out an inward cry. It yearned to be touched again by the man before him. He had been protecting this sword for so long. Perhaps too long.

No. The stone could not think like that. It was its duty to keep the sword safe. The sword was the only thing that mattered. The rock tried to convince itself this; that his duty was more important than this man. But its rock hard body told it otherwise. 

When Dean leaned in and whispered against its rock dust skin, the stone put everything it had in controlling itself. It barely managed to keep its heat to a minimum. But it couldn't control itself. The need was too strong.

He had to be going crazy, Dean decided. There was no way that a fucking rock could feel or hear what he was doing. Even as he murmured words against its side, he wondered if he had finally lost his mind completely. He had to be imagining that the stone got much warmer when he stroked it or spoke to it. Well, no one was watching, and if he was wrong he had nothing to lose. So.. Dean kissed the stone.  
Gently at first, soft chaste pecks. Which turned into long, drawn out kisses. He ignored the growing warmth until the rock started to shake.

The old stone couldn't control itself any longer. It shook with the power of ten thousand suns. For it had lived through many millenium. And it was down to party at last. With one last soft, pressing kiss from Dean, it transformed. 

Dean fell back in shock and nervousness as the stone before him shook violently until changing shape. Growing larger and thinner. Before too long, the thing standing in front of him was no longer a rock, but in fact was Dwayne (the Rock) Johnson. 

Dwayne stepped forward to Dean, cupping his cheek softly before putting flaming hot lips on the hunter's. Yes, he had chosen well. He pulled out the sword, untouched by time or weather for he had protected it well.

He held it up for Dean to see, and his true voice rang clear as he spoke.

"Still willing to give me anything Dean?"


End file.
